Abduction
by Smileys
Summary: What if Beverly, not Lwaxanna, got abducted by DaiMon Tog? Would that shake them up so they finally find each other? In my story, of course! Pure fluff. Told twice, for each POV.
1. Chapter 1

Paramount owns, I just play with their toys.

AN: Kes-prytt happened about a year ago. In my story it is Wil, Deanna and Beverly, not Lwaxanna, who are abducted by DaiMon Tog. I wasn't sure who's POV to write the story from so chapter 2 is the same story from Beverly's POV.

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes for they in thee a thousand errors see. But tis my heart that loves what they despise. Who in despite of view are pleased to dote. Shall I compare the to a summers day, thou art more lovely and temperate..." I had to play convincingly enough to fool Tog but also had to put enough ham in the performance to fool my own crew as well. I really would like to blow Tog's ship out of existence but I wouldn't harm a hair on Beverly's head. And it was hard to recite poetry while looking at her lovely face and not say it with real meaning and heart, I had to over act to fool my own crew. How I really felt about Beverly was my own business. It wouldn't do to have a crew see their captain being all moony eyed and unsure of himself. This was my greatest performance and with the highest price. If I didn't act well enough my life might as well be over. I kept up the reciting as Beverly cleverly told me that I must stop killing all her lovers. That got DaiMon Tog's attention. I decided it was time to pull out all the stops.

"Listen Tog, I must possess Beverly. And if that means destroying your ship in the process, so be it!" I yelled.

"Captain, I had no idea Beverly..."

"Don't let him threaten you. You can defeat him." she told Tog. Then she said to me, "The only way you'll ever get me back is over Tog's dead body."

"That can be arranged!" I growled. "Mr. Worf, arm phaser banks and photon torpedoes. If Beverly Crusher is not back in my arms in 10 seconds throw everything you've got at the Creighton."

"But you will destroy Beverly!" Tog flustered.

Lapsing back into reciting I went on, "When I have plucked the rose, I cannot give it vital growth again. It needs must wither. Nine. Eight. Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Seven. Six."

I heard DaiMon Tog say, "No, wait..."

But I continued my countdown, "Five. Four."

"Beam her to their bridge!" DaiMon Tog ordered one of his crew. "Now!"

"Three. Two." and as I said "One." I thought I would collapse from relief when I heard Beverly materialize back on board safe and sound. But the channel was still open and I still had a role to perform. I wanted to collapse with relief but instead I calmly sat down in my chair like getting my way was how things always went and I had fully expected her return. Beverly was keeping up her role as well as she blithely danced over to me and sat in my lap, draping her arms around me in a very possessive way giving all indication that we were very familiar with each other's bodies. No touch has ever been as sweet. Not just because it was Beverly but because it meant she was here, safe, with me. I think my heart started beating for the first time since I heard she had been abducted.

I composed myself and gave DaiMon Tog a parting shot to put a fear of me and Starfleet in him. It should be awhile before he tries to cross Starfleet and he'd better never cross me again. I was happy to end that communication and get one of my audience members out of the way. Now for the rest, as soon as the communication was ended Beverly popped up off my lap like she'd been stuck with a pin in her cute derriere. My elation deflated just a bit, she still didn't want to take our relationship beyond friendship? I had spent much of the time during her abduction kicking myself for not crossing the friendship line, perhaps those thoughts didn't cross her mind. Whatever makes her happy is what I will do but after nearly losing her my feelings were all up at the surface and I had no choice but to examine them. Again, I am acutely aware of how much more than friendship I want with this woman. It's always been her, I've always loved her and only her. No one else can take her place. Sure, I've had dalliances with other women but it was never serious, they could never be her.

Beverly started towards the turbo-lift and I quickly followed. "Beverly, I want to hear everything that happened to you on the Creighton. Number One, you have the comm." I could see she was still playing her role, being brave. Nothing gets her flustered, always the picture perfect Starfleet officer. I know her too well to believe that now.

"Can you imagine? Me? Being the sex slave of a DaiMon?! And DaiMon Tog!? Disgusting!" she said with more composure that she should have right now. Then she gave a half laugh and half snort but I swore I could hear a waver in that laugh. She was close to breaking. I intended to be there to pick up the pieces. She was nearly to the turbo-lift.

"I wouldn't be too worried, you wouldn't have been there long. Even DaiMon Tog would discover quickly that he'd bitten off more than he could chew. You are far too much woman for a troll like him. He'd send you back pretty fast." I said as we entered the turbo-lift and would quickly leave behind the audience.

"Deck 6" she said as the door began to close.

As soon as the door had swished closed I wanted to reach out for her but I hesitated for just a second. What had happened to her over there? Had she been mistreated or attacked in any way? Would my embrace be soothing or frightening? In that one second hesitation, she turned and slid her arms around my chest and held on tight. She buried her face in my neck. She was holding on tight and her body was still very tense, she was still trying to hold herself together. I called out to the computer "Halt." and the lift stopped, a safe cocoon with no one but the two of us. I started rubbing my hands up and down her back, hopefully in a soothing manner. "It's ok, Beverly, it's just me. You can let it out now."

She relaxed just the tiniest bit. She was still coiled up tight, ready to fight or flee. She lifted her head just enough to speak. "Get me out of here. Take me someplace safe. Please."

"You are safe. You're back on the Enterprise and you are with me. You are safe." I crooned.

"No, Jean-Luc, I cannot cry in the turbo-lift. Someone might see me when we leave. I need to be someplace safe. Please." she implored.

"Deck 5." I said and continued to hold her and run my hands up and down her back as the turbo-lift took off towards a safe place.

When the turbo-lift opened I took a quick look out into the hallway. "It's clear." I informed Beverly. We quickly walked to the door of my quarters. "Open." I said and we went in. All of the senior staff and a good number of the crew have been in the first portion of my private quarters. It's a receiving room for small social gatherings or meetings. Very few on board have gone beyond that room. We went right on through. Beverly has been beyond the receiving room many times for meals together or just to sit and talk or play cards or even a few occasions of the two of us just sitting in the same room while we each read a good book. I led her over to my couch and we sat together. She curled up into my side, her face against my shoulder and started to shake. After a moment she started to cry softly. My heart nearly broke and my head about exploded with anger at DaiMon Tog for making her feel this way. But right now was about her. I let her cry and kept letting her know she was safe, she was with me, she was back on board our ship, it was ok to let it out and I held her. Sometimes I would let a hand wander to caress her hair, arm, back... but mostly I just held her.

After a while the crying and shaking stopped and eventually the sniffling grew less as well and Beverly started to melt into me a bit more, she was exhausted from her ordeal. I started to move and she protested, clinging to me harder. "Jean-Luc, don't go."

"Shhhh it's ok, just lie down." I murmured as I eased her down along the back of the couch and moved behind her to hold her while she slept. We spooned on the couch, she used one of my arms for a pillow and held on tight to the other one like she needed to be assured I wasn't leaving her alone. I thought to myself, 'Mon coeur, I will never leave you and for right now you will not be out of my sight until I'm sure you are ready.' After just a few moments I heard her breathing slow. I was a jumble of feelings and took the time while she slept to sort out these feelings. Mostly I was relieved she was safe. I was furious because of what she had been through. I was thrilled to be holding her close. I was humbled that she trusted me enough to let me help her through this emotional time. I was nervous about broaching the subject of taking our relationship to the next level. I pondered on how to bring up the subject, wondering when it would be the right time for me to bring it up. Obviously, she'll need time to recover emotionally from her abduction before making any sort of decisions. I'll have to tread slowly and carefully and watch her reactions to know when to press on and when to back off.

For about an hour she slept peacefully while my mind was whirling. As much as I was thinking I was still enjoying holding her, being close. Then she started to whimper just a little. She must be starting to dream and not pleasant dreams. I didn't want to startle her awake so I pulled my arm from her hold on it and lay it over her, softly rubbing her shoulder, just enough to ease her out of sleep gently. She continued to whimper. Then clear as a bell she said, 'No, not my Jean-Luc!' and then she was quiet. I think, beginning to wake. I tucked away the memory of her dreaming of me, I assume, being hurt or taken from her. It hurt me to know her sleep wasn't peaceful because of dreams of me. But it thrilled my heart to know she cared enough that her subconscious was worried about me and she called me 'my' Jean-Luc. I was hers, all hers. Beverly started to stir, she stiffened just a little when she realized someone was holding her, then relaxed when she recognized where she was and who was holding her.

She rolled over to face me. My heart skipped a beat. Her sleep-relaxed face and tousled hair were a precious sight to behold. I wanted to see it again and again after long nights of holding her close. She gave a small embarrassed smile, "Hello."

"Hello to you too, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"Much better, thank you. How long did I sleep?" she asked as she snuggled closer to me, using my shoulder for a pillow.

"Only about an hour, would you like something from the replicator?" I asked her. I didn't know if they'd fed her or what kinds of food Ferengi eat.

She looked back up at my face and got a small impish smile on her face. "Food is not what I want, Jean-Luc."

Then she leaned up and brushed those soft lips of hers across mine. Feathery light touches. We'd had a few chaste friendship kisses that were barely there but although these kisses were barely there I can honestly say there was nothing chaste about them. She pressed her lips more firmly to my own and although I'd been roaming the heavens for decades, I had finally found a real heaven. I didn't think, I just enjoyed, reveled, savored... my arm found itself around her back and pulled her in even closer than the confines of my couch demanded. Then Beverly slid her tongue across my lips asking for entrance. Oh, sometimes it would be so easy to be a selfish cad and take what I want but shouldn't have for... well, whatever reason it is that I shouldn't have something. I wanted nothing more than to allow our kisses to deepen but this was not what she needed. I needed to be strong for her in this too. "Bever..mph" I leaned back away from her seeking lips, "Beverly, we should stop."

"Isn't this part of the kind of exploring you were talking about wanting after our time on Kes-prytt? I'm ready for a lot of exploring tonight." Beverly purred and arched her back to show me exactly what she meant.

I had to be strong for both of us right now. I let go of Beverly and turned and sat up. "I waited too long." she whispered. "You don't want me any more." she said and a tear fell from her eye and she looked crushed.

Oh, I was so sorry to have to deny her but I knew she wasn't herself. If we were going to go here, she had to make the decision with a clear head. "On the contrary, my love, I have always and will always want you."

She lifted her head and her expression was confused, a bit hurt, maybe a bit hopeful. She scooted over to lay her head on my thigh and her hand too. Too close for comfort to parts of my body I was having enough trouble controlling. "Then why not?" she asked.

I was stroking her hair, her beautiful red hair. "You know why not. You've had plenty of psychology training in medical school. You know after a life-threatening trauma like you just had a person may want to have sex just to feel truly alive. Tomorrow you may feel differently and I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't think I could cope with that. You are too vulnerable right now to be making any kind of decision. I love you, I always have. And I do want you, like I have for a very long time. I will both love and want you next week or next month or next year... if you decide you want me once you've recovered from your psychological trauma." I finished my little speech and held my breath.

Beverly sat up and looked at me. She just stared for several minutes. I could see the wheels turning in her head. "I think that either you do not want me and the after-trauma decision thing is an excuse, a true one, but maybe just an excuse." I started to shake my head no. "Or... and I think this is the right answer, you really love me with all your heart and want to do what is right for me, even if it hurts us both at the moment. Thank you, Jean-Luc. I love you too. I have for many years now. And I won't change my mind about wanting you tomorrow, next week or next year. I have been kicking myself for a whole year, ever since we left Kes-prytt and I was a fool enough to turn you down."

I took her hand in mine. "You were not a fool, you were still scared. That just meant you weren't ready yet. Maybe now you are ready but – not until at least next week and I expect you to have a few post-trauma sessions with Counselor Troi."

A mischievous smile graced her lovely face and she said, "Aye, Captain!"

Two can play at that game, "Don't you 'Captain' me, Doctor Crusher!" I said and we both laughed. Tensions broken, sexual atmosphere dissipated, contented friendship at the fore with romantic feelings in the wings.

Her demeanor changed and she looked serious but hesitant. I asked her, "What? You look like you want to say something."

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I'd like to stay the night." she said.

"Beverly, I don't think that such a good..." I started to say.

"No, Jean-Luc, I don't mean that way. I am still pretty shook up from my abduction and what happened to me over there, what I had to do... I don't want to be alone right now." she explained.

"I understand. You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." I offered. "And I'll be ready to hear what did happen any time you are ready to tell me."

"Um, I don't think you do understand. I'm afraid of nightmares and I would like to sleep in your arms so I'll feel safe. I promise not to attack you... this week." she said. I heard the light-hearted way she put the request but I could also see I her beautiful blue eyes how much she needed this. She gave a weak smile and continued, "Who knows, I might dream of having to rub DaiMon Tog's ears again. Seriously, Jean-Luc, that is the worst of what happened."

I did not show it on the outside but inside I heaved a huge sigh of relief, I had pictured much worse than some ear rubbing. "Of course you can stay, right this way..." I said and led her to my bedroom. I'm not sure in the years I've been on this ship that anyone else had been in my bedroom until tonight. As we entered, I really looked at my bedroom with different eyes. It's too austere and bare, she'll find my lack of any décor strange. Maybe some of my archeological mementoes should be displayed in here. No, out there is where I see and enjoy them. I spend my time in here with my eyes closed. I opened my dresser and took out a fresh soft tunic, the only one I had long enough to cover her sufficiently. "Here, you can wear this, it should be quite comfortable. I'll just step out and get us a nightcap while you change."

I took the opportunity alone to let Wil know that Beverly was a bit shaken by her experience and would be staying in my quarters and neither of us would be returning to duties until the morning. I could hear the smile in his voice although the words were professional enough. I'm sure he was thinking there was more going on here tonight than there would be but he was discrete enough to keep it to himself with the notable exception of Deanna. I didn't mind that he would tell her, it would give her more information at the ready for her session with Beverly tomorrow. I also made that appointment for early tomorrow morning so Beverly wouldn't have a chance to come up with excuses as to why she couldn't go. That all took several minutes, enough time for Beverly to change and get into bed. It was strange, I knew going in my room that she would be there, in my bed and wearing my tunic but to actually see her like that was quite a shock. A lovely, blood-stirring, heart quickening shock to my system. She looked for all the world like we had already made love, her in the bed with her tousled hair and wearing my clothing. I admonished myself, 'No, tonight is for comfort only. If you want this relationship to grow and last for the rest of our lives you must be strong tonight. She's had a frightening day and needs a friend to hold her, nothing more.' But, to be honest, I did take a few second daydream about what it would be like to live through was the situation looked like. It was wonderful.

I was standing staring too long, she was beginning to wonder about me. "I didn't know which side of the bed you like to sleep on so I chose the middle for the moment. Which side do you want? I can move either way."

"I honestly don't know. I've never really slept with anyone long enough to find out if I have a 'side' of the bed. Why don't you choose your side? I'll adjust to whatever side is left." Have I really gotten to this age without a long term relationship? I sighed inwardly, yes, because the only person I wanted that relationship with was taken, then off limits out of guilt and then not ready for the relationship and no one else mattered. But here she was, finally. She moved to her right and settled in while I got in bed on the other side. "Computer, 06 hundred wake up." I said and heard the computer beep it's acknowledgement. "Oh, I'm sorry, Beverly, did you want a different wake up time?"

She smiled, "That depends, does 06 hundred give us enough time for coffee and croissants together?"

"Lights off" I called out and the computer obliged. In the dark room I reached out for my love but only to hold her. She came willingly into my arms. I have always slept on my back since my heart replacement surgery and Beverly tucked herself into my armpit and laid her head on my chest with one arm thrown across my body. 'Steady, nothing sexual going on here, just a friend helping out a friend.' I reminded myself. We were both tired from the day and fell asleep within minutes.

02 HUNDRED

I awoke confused. There was a heavy weight on me and movement in my bed that was not me. I was shocked for just a second until I remembered: Beverly. Then came the flood of memories: Tog, abduction of my Beverly, Deanna and Wil, then Deanna and Wil returning without Beverly, bluffing Tog into returning Beverly, her crying in my arms and then sleeping in my arms. Then her wanting more than she should be wanting tonight but settling for sleeping in my arms again for the whole night. It was her that was the heavy weight and once I realized it was her she didn't seem so heavy, more like a blessing being pressed into my own body. It was also her that was moving and starting to make noise as well. She must be dreaming. Good dreams or bad? Do I wake her or leave her alone? I continued to hold her and just waited, listening. She was mumbling in her sleep. It was beginning to sound like a bad dream and I was about to wake her when she called out, "No, not my Jean-Luc!" like she had before. Then her body jerked awake and she sat up breathing heavily.

I didn't want to grab her and startle her. She had just abruptly woken up in a strange bed and would need a moment to remember where she was and with who. Her breathing slowed and she lay back down, pillowing her head on my chest. "Beverly? Are you all right?" I asked quietly.

She sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you, Jean-Luc. It was just a bad dream."

"Care to talk about it?" I ventured. Talking about it would probably help but I had to admit to myself I wanted to know what had her calling out my name that way.

She hesitated, "It was just a nightmare about my abduction. I'm ok, really."

The perceived anonymity of darkness can encourage people to open up when normally they wouldn't so I pressed a bit harder. "So, tell me about it. It might help. If you can work it through your conscious mind it probably won't bother your unconscious mind when you fall back to sleep."

She hesitated again before softly starting to relate her dream. "We.. we both were abducted. DaiMon Tog had us both. When we were really abducted I couldn't see how you would find us. I knew you would somehow, but it seemed hopeless. We were supposed to be on the planet for several hours so I thought Tog had a big head start on getting away clean. We all knew you'd be looking for us but didn't know how you'd find us. Hey, how did you find us?"

"Your servant from the planet contacted us when he returned from berry picking and couldn't find you anywhere. Data knew the bouquet of flowers that were found were from a Ferengi world so that put us on the right track. We just had to find the Creighton, since they had just been with us at the conference and Tog had behaved so badly towards you. It was Wesley that received and understood Wil's signal so we knew exactly where you were. Go on with your dream, please." I encouraged.

"In my dream, I'm more scared than I was in reality. I knew you'd keep searching until you found me. But in the dream you were with me and I wasn't so sure the others would be able to find us. Then..." she stopped.

Very quietly I prodded her along, "Yes, then what?"

"DaiMon Tog wanted me to himself and didn't like the way we looked at each other so... he... he..." she stopped and took a deep shuddering breath. "Jean-Luc, he beheaded you right in front of me. Your head rolled over to my feet and you looked up at me. It was horrible!" she cried.

"Shhh, it's ok. I'm ok. I won't let DaiMon Tog hurt either one of us." I soothed. Now I know what had her crying out in her sleep. I shudder to think what it might do to me to have the same dream with her being the one beheaded. I'd need someone to hold me too but as the captain I wouldn't be able to show it.

Time to lighten the mood and dispel the fear and horror of the dream. "So, with my bald head did it at least roll straight?"

"Jean-Luc! How can you say such a thing!" she admonished. Good, she was getting angry and losing the fear.

"Well, a bald head has to be good for something, maybe that's it. Of course, by the time you get that advantage you can't enjoy it." I teased.

She gave a small laugh. "No, your head did not roll straight. It wobbled all over like a drunken sailor. And bald is beautiful and sexy!"

"Damn, a drunken sailor, huh? Must be my big nose throwing it off balance. Bald is sexy, huh? I never knew you thought that. Not even when we were on Kes-prytt."

"Care to find out how sexy I think some bald heads are? Or at least one in particular." she said as she brought her hand up to stroke said bald head.

Whoa, I need to reign in that line of conversation quickly. I removed her hand from my head and brought it to my chest and kept it there by holding her hand. Let's bring things back around to Tog and make him less scary. Hmmm how to do that? "Beverly, do you think maybe Tog is a nickname? A shortened form of his full name?"

"Tog? What would Tog be short for?" she mused.

"I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure it's short for Toglodyte." I smiled at the pun.

"Toglodyte?" she asked.

I had to explain. "Oh sorry, troglodyte is an archeology term for a very primitive, smelly, offensive early human with no social skills whatsoever."

She laughed out loud, I could feel the vibrations against my chest where we touched. It felt wonderful in many ways. Wonderful to be this near to my lady love. Wonderful to hear and feel her laughter. Wonderful to provide her with the laughter. Best of all, wonderful to be able to help her heal from her trauma of yesterday and take the fear out of the image of Tog so he won't darken her dreams, hopefully, any more.

We lay quietly in the darkness for a while before she quietly spoke my name. "Jean-Luc?" she said it so quietly and softly but my name on her lips was a balm to the part of my soul still ragged from her being ripped from my life, however briefly.

"Yes, Beverly?" I replied.

"How long?" she asked.

I was confused. I tried to work out what she meant but I had to ask. "How long, what?"

"How long until you are convinced that I'm recovered from my ordeal and ready to make important decisions?" Wasn't that a loaded question? I was glad she couldn't see my face in the darkness because my mind and probably my face was in shock and scrambling for an answer. How long? I'd like to say about 3 seconds but that would be wrong and selfish, she is not ready, not over her ordeal. 3 days? A week? A month? How could we know in advance? But she wanted an answer.

"If you go see Counselor Troi a few times I think a week might be enough, but we'll just have to see how things go. I am not going to let you make what might be a mistake. This is too important. We are too important to rush into anything." I held my breath, hoping I'd said the right thing.

She laughed out loud again. I was confused and hurt, why was she laughing? I see nothing funny about two people who love each other taking careful steps towards each other. "Jean-Luc! Rush into anything?! You've loved me for over 20 years. I was attracted to you right from the start and I think I fell in love with you about 10 years ago so we're not exactly rushing into anything."

She was right, my choice of words was comical giving the situation. I laughed with her. Carefully, in the dark, I leaned down and kissed her nose. "Good things come to those who wait."

"Mmmmm..." she purred as she snuggled a bit deeper into me. "Then we ought to be phenomenal together after all the waiting we've had."

"Oh, I agree, we will be phenomenal together for the rest of our lives, Beverly." I vowed. Then we both drifted off in each others arms to happy dreams of those phenomenal times.


	2. Chapter 2

There he was, on screen, I already knew they had found us but couldn't figure out how in the world they had but it was still a relief to my soul to see him, my knight in shining armor. My Jean-Luc. True, I was still aboard the Ferengi ship and in Tog's clutches but I knew Jean-Luc wouldn't stop until I was back safe with him. I had been kicking myself for a year already and was kicking even harder the past few hours. Why in the world did I turn him down when he suggested we explore our feelings more after our time on Kes-prytt? I loved him. I've loved him for some time now. Sure, it's a scary idea entering into a relationship with such a strong, public figure and my captain to boot but it's Jean-Luc, I've known him most of my life. I was attracted to him physically and emotionally right from the start but I was already starting a relationship with Jack when I met his best friend, Jean-Luc. I wonder what life would've been like if I had meet Jean-Luc first? I probably would've married him and been attracted to Jack. But that is past, for the last year I've been trying to figure out a way to let him know that I have changed my mind and I do want to explore those feelings, explore them around the clock and for the rest of my life. Right now, I wanted to jump through the screen and be away from Tog and back with Jean-Luc but I had to stay where I was and continue stroking Tog's disgusting ears. Their skin is like leather but not smooth, it sticks to the fingers making a smooth caress impossible. It was torture to keep pretending I was enjoying myself but that was what I had to do.

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes for they in thee a thousand errors see. But tis my heart that loves what they despise. Who in despite of view are pleased to dote. Shall I compare the to a summers day, thou art more lovely and temperate..." Jean-Luc was reciting from a Shakespeare sonnet, bless him and his love of good literature. He sure was hamming it up though, I was afraid Tog would see through his act. I cut in on his recitation and told him he had to stop killing all my lovers. I could see where he was going for a plan to get me off the Creighton and back on the Enterprise and still keep relations with the Ferengi fairly friendly. I wanted to get back home but not at the price of a war. Instead of Helen of Troy I'd be Beverly of Earth and I'm not beautiful enough to pull off that kind of legacy. Telling Jean-Luc to stop killing all my lovers certainly got DaiMon Tog's attention. And Jean-Luc picked up the cue like we'd been rehearsing for weeks.

"Listen Tog, I must possess Beverly. And if that means destroying your ship in the process, so be it!" he yelled.

"Captain, I had no idea Beverly..."

"Don't let him threaten you. You can defeat him." I told Tog as I stroked his ear again. Then I said to Jean-Luc, "The only way you'll ever get me back is over Tog's dead body."

"That can be arranged!" he growled and I swore he really meant it. Not that I wanted violence but it does a woman's heart good to hear her love is willing to fight for her. Such a primitive emotion but there it was, blooming in my heart. "Mr. Worf, arm phaser banks and photon torpedoes. If Beverly Crusher is not back in my arms in 10 seconds throw everything you've got at the Creighton."

"But you will destroy Beverly!" Tog flustered.

We were down to the last bluff and Jean-Luc looked for all the world like he was completely sure of himself and the outcome but I knew him better. If I was closer to him I probably could've seen a few beads of sweat on his smooth bald head. He went back and forth between more Shakespeare and counting down until it was time to destroy the Creighton, "When I have plucked the rose, I cannot give it vital growth again. It needs must wither. Nine. Eight. Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Seven. Six."

I heard DaiMon Tog say, "No, wait..."

Jean-Luc continued his countdown, "Five. Four."

"Beam her to their bridge!" DaiMon Tog ordered one of his crew. "Now!"

"Three. Two." but I didn't hear him say "One." because I was in transport. I was going home, I would be safe. I thought I would collapse from relief when I materialized back on board safe and sound. But the channel was still open and I still had a role to perform. I wanted to collapse with relief but instead I blithely danced over to the captain and sat in his lap, draping my arms around him in a very possessive way giving all indication that we were very familiar with each other's bodies. We were both acting for DaiMon Tog's benefit but it was still nice to be that close to Jean-Luc and touch him like I had never been able to before. In my head I had to counsel myself 'This is just an act, he may not feel the same way anymore and might not like what we are doing right now. Do not get too comfortable on the captain's lap and certainly not on the bridge!' But I relished and tried to remember every touch and feeling for later savoring. I was home, safe, and sitting in my love's lap. A far cry from the situation I was in 30 seconds earlier and I was shaking inside from relief. I was also just barely holding myself together, the true weight of the danger I had been in and what could've happened to me was crashing down into my brain now that I was safe. Hold off a moment brain, it's not time to break down and process the fears just yet.

Jean-Luc gave DaiMon Tog a parting shot to let him know they'd better not cross paths again. As soon as the communication was ended I quickly made for the turbo-life. I wasn't going to be able to hold myself together for very long and I did not want to cry in front of everyone on the bridge. I had to get to my quarters first. The confident, self-assured doctor with everyone on board's health in her hands needs to maintain composure and all that. I was hoping Jean-Luc would follow but even if he didn't, I needed to get out of there. To my relief he quickly followed me and continued our performance, this time for the crew. "Beverly, I want to hear everything that happened to you on the Creighton. Number One, you have the comm."

I screwed up my courage and did a little more acting, "Can you imagine? Me? Being the sex slave of a DaiMon?! And DaiMon Tog!? Disgusting!" I managed to say with more composure than I actually had at the moment. Then I tried to laugh it off but it came out as half laugh and half snort and my voice wavered just a bit. I was close to breaking but I was also nearly to the turbo-lift.

Jean-Luc was right behind me, "I wouldn't be too worried, you wouldn't have been there long. Even DaiMon Tog would discover quickly that he'd bitten off more than he could chew. You are far too much woman for a troll like him. He'd send you back pretty fast." he said as we entered the turbo-lift and would quickly leave the crew behind.

"Deck 6" I said as the door began to close, intending to go to my quarters.

As soon as the door had swished closed I turned and slid my arms around his chest and held on tight. I buried my face in his neck. I was holding on tight still trying to hold myself together until I could get to my quarters. He called out to the computer "Halt." and the lift stopped. Why did he do that? Couldn't he see that I was about to have a little break down and needed to be behind closed doors? He started rubbing his hands up and down my back, it helped me hold on just a little longer. He said, "It's ok, Beverly, it's just me. You can let it out now."

I relaxed just the tiniest bit, I knew I was safe with Jean-Luc and I was now assured that he knew I was about to cry and needed a friend with me but I was not about to let the flood gates open here. I lifted my head away from his neck just enough to speak. "Get me out of here. Take me someplace safe. Please."

"You are safe. You're back on the Enterprise and you are with me. You are safe." he crooned.

"No, Jean-Luc, I cannot cry in the turbo-lift. Someone might see me when we leave. I need to be someplace safe. Please." I implored.

"Deck 5." he said and continued to hold me and run his strong hands up and down my back as the turbo-lift took off towards a safe place. Not the place I was thinking of but his quarters were a very safe place as well.

When the turbo-lift opened he took a quick look out into the hallway. "It's clear." he informed me. We quickly walked to the door of his quarters. "Open." he said and we went in. All of the senior staff and a good number of the crew have been in the first portion of the captain's private quarters. It's a receiving room for small social gatherings or meetings. I would guess that very few on board have gone beyond that room. We went right on through. I have been beyond the receiving room many times for meals together or just to sit and talk or play cards or even a few occasions of the two of us just sitting in the same room while we each read a good book. Or while Jean-Luc got engrossed in his book and I kept taking peeks of his beautiful face and studied the emotions crossing his face as the mood of his book changed as he read. He led me over to his couch and we sat together. I curled up next to him as close as I could get without sitting in his lap, that would be going too far. My face against was hidden in his shoulder and I started to shake. After a moment I started to cry and let it out. Instead of trying to get me to stop crying like many men would do in this situation he let me cry as much as I needed to. He kept up a soothing string of comforting words letting me know I was safe, I was with him, I was back on board our ship, it was ok to let it out and he held me. Sometimes he would caress my hair, arm, back... but mostly he just held me tight. It seemed at that moment this his tight arms were what was keeping me from flying apart into a million pieces and I will always remember his strength at holding me together and his insight to let me keep crying instead of holding it all inside to fester and grow.

After a while my crying and shaking stopped and eventually my unlady-like sniffling grew less as well. Isn't it bad enough to be vulnerable and upset and crying? Why does that always mean a runny nose as well? I was feeling better and growing very sleepy, I melted into him to be close to safety and warmth as my eyes drifted shut. I was falling asleep and wanted him to continue to hold me while I slept. Was that too much to ask? Did he need to get back to the bridge? I was a wreck at the moment but we both had jobs to do. He retreated from me just a little and put his hands on my arms to lower me down into a lying position on the couch. I was afraid he was going to leave me there alone. I wasn't ready to be alone. I clung onto his arms and pleaded "Jean-Luc, don't go."

"Shhhh it's ok, just lie down." he murmured as he eased me down along the back of the couch. Why did he have me facing the couch? Then he moved in behind me to hold me while I slept. We spooned on the couch, I used one of his arms for a pillow and held on tight to the other one to assure myself he was still there. After just a few moments I relaxed into his warmth and leaned on his strength and drifted off to sleep. Sandwiched between the couch and Jean-Luc was a comfortable, warm and safe place. It was just what I needed to feel secure enough to sleep.

Unfortunately sleep was not the peaceful slumber I had hoped for. I often dream of Jean-Luc and some dreams are nice, very nice. And I do not feel guilty at all. It's like Jean-Luc said 'a person is not responsible for what her mind does when she's asleep'. Ok, when he said it, it was his mind and when he's asleep but it translates for women too. But often the dreams are of me losing him. When I have one of those dreams I know it's my mind telling me I need to broach the subject of us getting together to explore our feelings... and hopefully more. I am afraid to lose him without really ever having him. This was one of those dreams. In my dream Wil and Deanna were not abducted with me, it was Jean-Luc. With him being abducted with me, in my dream, I was hopeless. Who would find us? How long until they gave up? They didn't have his experience and quick mind to help find us. We were put in separate cells and he was far enough away that I could barely hear him. And what I could hear was him screaming in pain. I couldn't see him, I didn't know what they were doing to him. I couldn't touch him and try to help or comfort him. Then Tog came into view leading a shackled Jean-Luc who had a cloth hood over his head so I couldn't even look at his face. I could see from the rips and burns to his clothing that he'd been tortured. There was a lot of blood as well. He had to be in dire condition. He didn't try to fight, he was unable. He stood there where DaiMon Tog let go of him and he nearly fell over but instead he just slumped into a stooped position. Then Tog pulled out a lazar and quickly cut off his head with one stroke. My heart stopped and I yelled, 'No, not my Jean-Luc!' and then his head wobbled out of the hood and rolled to the door of my cell and landed face up. It was like he was looking at me but his eyes were eerily empty, he was gone. I was in total anguish and I wanted to die too. Then in my anguish I woke up out of the nightmare. For a second I was confused and startled when I realized someone was holding me, then it all came back to me. I had been abducted but Jean-Luc got me back and he was alive and well and holding me. I relaxed and allowed my heart to slow it's pace and soothed my fears from the dream by feeling the steady, albeit artificial, heart beat on my back where I was pressed into his chest. The dream had been a horror and here in reality I was in a dream. Strange.

I rolled over to face him. My heart skipped a beat. His face and head firmly attached to his body was a precious sight to behold. I realized I was staring and I gave a small embarrassed smile, "Hello."

"Hello to you too, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Much better, thank you. How long did I sleep?" I asked as I snuggled closer to him, wanting to feel his heart beat to reassure myself. And wanting to press my body against his all along our full lengths. Now that I was feeling better and we were feeling so close maybe it was a good opportunity to further our relationship. I know he wanted me a year ago and I hoped he still did because I certainly wanted him in all ways. Difficulties being in love with the captain be damned, I loved him and I knew that he loved me. Or at least he still did a year ago.

"Only about an hour, would you like something from the replicator?" he asked me.

I looked back up at his face and smiled. "Food is not what I want, Jean-Luc." We were in an intimate situation. Laying down, snuggled together, emotional barriers down, safe in his quarters without the crew around, soft starlight from his observation window the only light... how often do we get to be alone like this? I had to press my advantage while I had it.

Then I leaned up and brushed my lips across his. Feathery light touches. We'd had a few chaste friendship kisses that were barely there but I had never kissed him well enough to find out just how soft his lips are. I pressed my lips more firmly to his to deepen the kiss. It was wonderful, he was masterful at kissing me, my insides turned to mush. His arm came around my back and pulled me in even closer than the confines of the couch demanded. He was responding favorably to my advances so I took it a step further. I slid my tongue across his lovely lips begging entrance. "Bever..mph" he said as I tried to kiss him again. Then he leaned back away from my lips, "Beverly, we should stop."

My heart ached. Maybe I was too late, I should've never pushed him away after Kes-prytt. But I wasn't ready to give up yet. "Isn't this part of the kind of exploring you were talking about wanting after our time on Kes-prytt?" I asked him. Maybe bringing up the intimacy we had on that planet when we were hearing each other's thoughts would bring back his feeling of wanting to further our relationship. "I'm ready for a lot of exploring tonight." I said and arched my back to show him exactly what I meant.

He was struggling, I wasn't sure what he was struggling with. Was he struggling against himself, he wasn't sure if he wanted more? I feared he was struggling to find a nice way to push me away. Finally he let go of me and turned and sat up. "I waited too long." I whispered, it slipped out. "You don't want me anymore." I said with conviction as a traitorous tear slid down my cheek.

He looked stricken and sad. He was too sweet a man, he was hurting because he had to hurt me, or so I thought. Then he said, "On the contrary, my love, I have always and will always want you." My heart swelled with hope.

I scooted over and pillowed my head on his thigh and my hand too. Playing on his male hormones. "Then why not?" I asked.

He was stroking my hair. "You know why not. You've had plenty of psychology training in medical school. You know after a life-threatening trauma like you just had a person may want to have sex just to feel truly alive. Tomorrow you may feel differently and I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't think I could cope with that. You are too vulnerable right now to be making any kind of decision. I love you, I always have. And I do want you, like I have for a very long time. I will both love and want you next week or next month or next year... if you decide you want me once you've recovered from your psychological trauma."

I sat up and looked at him. I'm not too bad at reading people. Not in Jean-Luc's class of reading people, but pretty good. I was trying to figure out if he really did want us to happen and was being a gentleman. It would be so like him. And, much to my dismay, he was correct about the psychology and that tonight wouldn't be the right time for us to go to that place. As much as I wanted him right now, this was not how I wanted our first time to be. It shouldn't be in reaction to danger and fear, it should be a quiet, natural extension of our love for each other and being together. But, he was good at hiding his feelings, he needed to be better than most at that to be an effective captain. Perhaps he was just finding a kind way to let me down. I wasn't totally sure what was true. He was looking at me expectantly for a response so I went with the truth, "I think that either you do not want me and the after-trauma decisions possibly being poor decisions is an excuse, a true one, but maybe just an excuse." He started to shake his head no. "Or... and I think this is the right answer, you really love me with all your heart and want to do what is right for me, even if it hurts us both at the moment. Thank you, Jean-Luc. I love you too. I have for many years now. And I won't change my mind about wanting you tomorrow, next week or next year. I have been kicking myself for a whole year, ever since we left Kes-prytt and I was a fool enough to turn you down."

He smiled and took my hand in his. "You were not a fool, you were still scared. That just meant you weren't ready yet. Maybe now you are ready but – not until at least next week and I expect you to have a few post-trauma sessions with Counselor Troi."

I decided that even though I didn't want to give in tonight it was the right thing for both of us to put off this topic for a bit, he was right. And darn his grandmother for raising such a perfect gentleman. Then I decided it was time to cut the tension so I said, "Aye, Captain!" with a bit of cheek and a smile.

"Don't you 'Captain' me, Doctor Crusher!" he said and we both laughed. But now that the initial aftermath of being abducted was over and I was feeling better I still wasn't ready to be left alone. And I especially was apprehensive of another terrifying dream of Jean-Luc being hurt. They were bad enough when I was feeling strong but what if I went back to my quarters to sleep alone and had another one? I pictured myself in my bed later tonight with a sheen of sweat and shaking after another nightmare. I would lay there for a long time fighting the urge to get up and wake up Jean-Luc just to make sure he was ok. And I'd look like a fool if I did do that.

He was watching me think again, he's too observant sometimes. "What? You look like you want to say something."

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I'd like to stay the night." I said.

"Beverly, I don't think that such a good..." he started to say.

"No, Jean-Luc, I don't mean that way. I am still pretty shook up from my abduction and what happened to me over there, what I had to do... I don't want to be alone right now." I explained.

"I understand. You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." he offered. "And I'll be ready to hear what did happen any time you are ready to tell me."

"Um, I don't think you do understand. I'm afraid of nightmares and I would like to sleep in your arms so I'll feel safe. I promise not to attack you... tonight." I added. Then I realized he had asked what happened. I hadn't thought of all the things that must have been running through his mind while I was gone. Truly hideous thoughts had likely plagued him. I needed to put those visions out of his mind. It was awful to have to pretend to be attracted to Tog while being scared at being a captive and thinking about what he might want later. But those later activities never even got close, and I didn't want him to be thinking of them so I continued in a light tone, "Who knows, I might dream of having to rub DaiMon Tog's ears again. Seriously, Jean-Luc, that is the worst of what happened."

Ever the stoic captain, he tried to remain unaltered and look unaffected by my comment. I know him too well for that. It was a small change but I could see it in his eyes. They relaxed ever so slightly, it gave away his relief and I loved him a little more because of it. "Of course you can stay, right this way..." he said and led me to his bedroom. I've never been in his bedroom. He's never been sick in bed in his quarters where I had to visit him. I had trouble thinking of anyone that would've been in his bedroom for any reason. Then a reason for a visitor came to me and I felt a jealous pang that lasted just a second before reason took over. He's never had a significant other on board the ship. We went into his room and it was a lovely room. No clutter in here to distract him, none of the outside world intruding. I know he loves his archeology mementoes and they are lovely and interesting but this is the room for him to rest and sleep in, not reminisce. It was perfect, serene and calm. He went over and pulled out a drawer, "Here, you can wear this, it should be quite comfortable. I'll just step out and get us a nightcap while you change." The gentleman again. He grabbed another piece of clothing from the drawer and exited the room. As much as I wanted us to spend the night in this bed doing other activities than sleeping it was still very unsettling to be disrobing in his bedroom. Strange but exciting and calming at the same time to be donning his clothing. Wearing someone else's clothing is a very intimate thing. Although freshly laundered, the tunic still had his distinct smell and I inhaled deeply. It was long enough to cover nearly everything that would need to be covered if I was walking around but I still thought it would be best to hurry into bed. I knew Jean-Luc was not only getting a night cap for us but also telling Wil that he wouldn't be back to the bridge until morning. I know Wil and Deanna watch us dance around each other, never willing to step over that line, and they would be very happy for us but it still made me uncomfortable knowing that Wil would think there was more going on in the captain's quarters tonight then just deep friendship. He returned and I knew I had been right about him contacting Wil. What else could he have been doing for those minutes since he obviously wasn't at the replicator. He had forgotten the drinks. That was fine with me, I didn't want one. But he was standing in the doorway just staring at me. What was he thinking while staring at me in the middle of his bed? Oh, maybe that was the problem. "I didn't know which side of the bed you like to sleep on so I chose the middle for the moment. Which side do you want? I can move either way."

"I honestly don't know. I've never really slept with anyone long enough to find out if I have a 'side' of the bed. Why don't you choose your side? I'll adjust to whatever side is left." Jack and I both wanted the left side of the bed. I don't know why but I always gravitate towards the left side while in bed. I acquiesced to Jack at the time thinking I was being kind to him. It worked out well for me also. I continued to gravitate towards the left and would end up close to my husband, snuggling into his warm body. So my instinct of moving to the left was squashed and I moved to the right. If we were going to establish sides of the bed for future use, please let there be years of future bedding down together, I wanted the joy of gravitating towards this man. Jean-Luc had changed into sleeping attire while out of the room and he slid into bed with me. "Computer, 06 hundred wake up." he said and I heard the computer beep it's acknowledgement. He turned to face me, "Oh, I'm sorry, Beverly, did you want a different wake up time?"

She smiled, "That depends, does 06 hundred give us enough time for coffee and croissants together?" I loved our simple breakfasts together.

"Lights off" he called out and the computer obliged. In the dark room I heard the rustle of the sheets as he reached out for me. I went very willingly into his arms. I had thought of sleeping with Jean-Luc before. I mean, I have thought of all the activities we could share in bed including the act of actually sleeping together. I knew from when I had removed his 'borg implants and he was in sick bay for a week that he slept on his back. I had pictured myself tucked up by his side with my head on his chest and our arms around each other. I took that position and it was the safest and happiest place I had known in a very long time. I wanted to let my arm and hand thrown over his body start to wander, starting up other things for us to do. I willed my hand to stay where it was. Jean-Luc was too much a gentleman to have any of that tonight, no matter what it might cost him to have to stop me or my wandering hand. 'Steady, nothing sexual going on here, just a friend helping out a friend.' I reminded myself. We were both tired from the day and fell asleep within minutes.

02 HUNDRED

My body jerked awake and I sat up breathing heavily. The observation window was in the wrong place, I wasn't in my quarters. I quickly became aware of someone else in the bed with me. My brain started to remind me of the experiences of the day before and for just half a second I became terrified that I was in Tog's bed and he was with me. I nearly screamed in fright but my brain downloaded more memories of my rescue so I knew I wasn't in Tog's bed. Do Ferengi even sleep in beds? Maybe they wrap themselves up in cold, hard gold coins to sleep. Then came the flood of all the day's memories: Tog, abduction of Deanna and Wil and me, then Deanna and Wil returning without me – I was glad I could affect their rescue if not my own - then Jean-Luc bluffing Tog into returning me, crying in his arms and then sleeping in his arms briefly. Then wanting more than I should be wanting for that moment but settling for sleeping in his arms again for the whole night. I was in Jean-Luc's bed, wearing his clothes, and until I sat up I had been pressed up against his body. And that was where I wanted to be so I lay back down, pillowing my head on his chest. "Beverly? Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

I sighed, I was a little embarrassed by my nightmare even though I had no control over it. "I'm sorry I woke you, Jean-Luc. It was just a bad dream."

"Care to talk about it?" he offered.

I hesitated, "It was just a nightmare about my abduction. I'm ok, really." It was the same dream I'd had before of Tog torturing and beheading him. I wasn't sure I wanted to share that with him. It spoke volumes about my feelings and fears and he might not like that I dreamed of him being killed. Then again, he was the one that said we can't be responsible for what our minds do when we're asleep.

"So, tell me about it. It might help. If you can work it through your conscious mind it probably won't bother your unconscious mind when you fall back to sleep." he said. And darn the man, why is he always right when being right is the harder thing to do?

I was glad he couldn't see my face and that I couldn't see any reaction on his face as I told him about the dream. "We.. we both were abducted. DaiMon Tog had us both. When we were really abducted I couldn't see how you would find us. I knew you would somehow, but it seemed hopeless. We were supposed to be on the planet for several hours so I thought Tog had a big head start on getting away clean. We all knew you'd be looking for us but didn't know how you'd find us. Hey, how did you find us?"

"Your servant from the planet contacted us when he returned from berry picking and couldn't find you anywhere. Data knew the bouquet of flowers that were found were from a Ferengi world so that put us on the right track. We just had to find the Creighton, since they had just been with us at the conference and Tog had behaved so badly towards you. It was Wesley that received and understood Wil's signal so we knew exactly where you were. Go on with your dream, please." he encouraged.

"In my dream, I'm more scared than I was in reality. I knew you'd keep searching until you found me. But in the dream you were with me and I wasn't so sure the others would be able to find us. Then..." I stopped.

Very quietly he said, "Yes, then what?"

"DaiMon Tog wanted me to himself and didn't like the way we looked at each other so... he... he..." I stopped and took a deep breath and blurted out the rest. "Jean-Luc, he beheaded you right in front of me. Your head rolled over to my feet and you looked up at me. It was horrible!" I cried.

"Shhh, it's ok. I'm ok. I won't let DaiMon Tog hurt either one of us." he murmured. He held me tight for a moment until I relaxed again. Then he had the audacity to ask, "So, with my bald head did it at least roll straight?"

What a thing to ask! "Jean-Luc! How can you say such a thing!" I admonished. I had to laugh.

"Well, a bald head has to be good for something, maybe that's it. Of course, by the time you get that advantage you can't enjoy it." he teased.

I laughed again. "No, your head did not roll straight. It wobbled all over like a drunken sailor. And bald is beautiful and sexy!" I told him.

"Damn, a drunken sailor, huh? Must be my big nose throwing it off balance. Bald is sexy, huh? I never knew you thought that. Not even when we were on Kes-prytt."

I hadn't been aware of his perceived short comings of his own appearance before. He does not have a large nose and I just love his bald head, actually I love the swath of shortly cut hair he has too. Oh, who am I kidding, I love everything about him. I wasn't sure if I was just teasing him or I really wanted to try and get something started. I reached up to stroke the satiny skin on the top of his head. "Care to find out how sexy I think some bald heads are? Or at least one in particular."

He quickly removed my hand from his head and brought it to his chest and kept it there by holding my hand. Then he successfully changed the subject by asking, "Beverly, do you think maybe Tog is a nickname? A shortened form of his full name?"

"Tog? What would Tog be short for?" I mused. I don't know many Ferengi names but I couldn't think of any names that would be shortened to Tog in any language right off hand.

"I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure it's short for Toglodyte." he said.

I could tell he was making a joke but I didn't get it. "Toglodyte?" I asked.

"Oh sorry, troglodyte is an archeology term for a very primitive, smelly, offensive early human with no social skills whatsoever." he explained.

I laughed out loud, that was a perfect description of Tog! I felt some of the lingering tension melt away with my laughter. Bless this man for knowing what would heal me best. The tension that left was replaced by an even deeper love than before. I hadn't thought it would be possible to love him more than I already had.

"Jean-Luc?" I said quietly so as to not break the spell we seemed to be under.

"Yes, Beverly?" he replied as he ran his fingers through my hair. I loved that intimate, off-handed gesture.

"How long?" I asked.

It took him a minute to answer, "How long, what?"

"How long until you are convinced that I'm recovered from my ordeal and ready to make important decisions?" I asked and held my breath for the answer.

"If you go see Counselor Troi a few times I think a week might be enough, but we'll just have to see how things go. I am not going to let you make what might be a mistake. This is too important. We are too important to rush into anything."

I had to laugh at his answer, "Jean-Luc! Rush into anything?! You've loved me for over 20 years. I was attracted to you right from the start and I think I fell in love with you about 10 years ago so we're not exactly rushing into anything." My heart swelled with love, he wanted to get this right. He also knew this was important. I knew once we were together it was until death do we part, regardless of whether or not we got married. We didn't love lightly, either of us. And we had finally found our way to each other.

"Good things come to those who wait." he said as he leaned down to kiss my nose. My nose? Couldn't have aimed just a little lower? Next week, I told myself, next week.

"Mmmmm... Then we ought to be phenomenal together after all the waiting we've had." I predicted.

"Oh, I agree, we will be phenomenal together for the rest of our lives, Beverly." Then we both drifted off in each other's arms to happy dreams of those phenomenal times.


End file.
